i wish something would kill me because i'm too scared to do it myself
Track Name: death is my way out (d.i.m.w.o.)
i am getting lost in daydreams. sometimes i feel like my brain is too weak and one day my concept of reality will break and i will collapse into my own mind and everything i know and everything i see and believe will be controlled by the one person who hates me most and i'm so fucking scared.
Track Name: mean girls ripoff
last night i dreamt that we were alone in a pitch black room where your bright gray eyes were the only source of light. i have never seen anything so beautiful. but when i woke up you weren't breathing. i've never been as scared as when i put my ear to your chest. i felt more than just relief when my panic was eased by your heart beat. that's when i knew that i loved you.
Track Name: maybe i'm upset, no, wait, definitely.
every part of my life up to this point has been a disappointment to you and i can barely handle it. so what's the point of going on? i think we'd all be much happier if i were dead. i don't see the point in waiting around for the inevitable. there is no purpose. there is no reason to live. i need you to know that i'd change everything if i could to be the person you always wanted me to be.
miles: i don't have time to dwell on the idea that things could get better. they'll never get better.
Track Name: this is my attempt at an apology
i've spent each day since you left trying to forgot, but all the memories came rushing back when i saw where we carved our names into the cement. you probably hate me now, i know i do. i became obsessed with the image i created and that wasn't fair to you. i fall apart anytime you come around, and i'm sorry for how that must have made you feel. i should have looked through your point of view to see what it's like to have a piece of shit fall for you. so this is my attempt at an apology. i'm sorry.